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Saturday, 26 July 2008

Currently Listening
Way Of Life
By Slinkee Minx
Summer Rain
see related
I'm a Shitty Person

Alright, so I'm feeling like the scum of the earth right now.
I've been hanging out a lot with this one fat girl Lauren lately.
Well, she's not FAT fat, but she's pretty chubby, like a size 10 or something.
Ugh, so anyway, I hang out with her when I'm feeling really gross about myself,
because she's ALWAYS eating and like never works out and I get disgusted
and otherwise she's really really nice.

So earlier, we were hanging out, and she was kinda pissing me off because
she suspected something was up because I'm losing a lot lately
and I always tell her I already ate or I'm not hungry.
Anyway, I was pissed because she was all "You eat like a stupid little
anorexic girl or something." Like, wtf is that supposed to mean? STUPID and
anorexic? Haha, wow, I was pissed. Anyway, I was like "Whatever,
that's not true, I eat a lot." And she's like "Well, okay."

Btw, this was at the mall so we were in Nordstrom, walking and looking
at clothes but not really saying anything to each other. I tried on this dress eventually
and came out to show her, and she was like "Wow, how do you get so skinny? You're lucky!"
This really pissed me off because I'm not LUCKY, I just don't EAT like a fucking gluttonous PIG.
I worked really hard to get to where I am, and she's just so ughhh.
So I responded. And no, I didn't hold back, not one bit.
I told her, "Maybe it's because I'm not CONSTANTLY eating, fatty."
She runs off crying, and I just stand there smiling, and she drove me home and it was
entirely silent, but oh my god you'd swear this girl was like in love with me
or so desperate to be my friend
because she was like "Hey, listen. I'm really sorry about that earlier."
Its like, wtf?!?! Haha, crazy bitch.
I'd hate me if I were her, but I'm not
so I guess I love me,
if only I could lose all this fatttttttttttttttttt.

:]]
P.S. I haven't done this in forever and I'm always so lazy about commenting people,
but just know all the pro ana girls that I love you and stay strong! :]

Also, I neeeed support so if you want can any of you give me AIMs or MSNs?

<33

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Happy Fucking Birthday

Tonight's my birthday.
I don't know what I'm doing,
but my party's on Saturday night.
Today thus far has been terrible.
I want to be happy.
Please let me be happy.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Currently Listening
Board Up the House
By Genghis Tron
see related
Things Don't Look Too Good

91.3 pounds
I've never worked out so much in my life
I'm still feeling like death but it doesn't compare to yesterday
I had a cup of light white grape juice, 80 calories.
I think I needed it, because I haven't passed out yet.
Things are being resolved, and I really don't want today to be bad.
Almost to 90!!!
<333

thinkthin.thinkthin.thinkthin.
Slow Suicide

Today was terrible.
Today I passed out in front of the entire courtyard at the mall.
Today I passed out again in front of the people I care about the most.
Today Christopher hates me, and today my father is ashamed of me, and I'm pretty sure has given up on me. Today I became a liar, a cheater, today I lost my best friend, today I can't stop being cold, can't stop shaking, can't stop killing myself. Today I can't compare to the worst day of my life, today there is no brighter side to things.

Today I am being eaten away,
and today I've never felt better.

Saturday, 12 July 2008

Currently Gaming
Team Fortress 2
By Electronic Arts
see related

Current Stats:
Height: 5'2
Weight: 94.3 [pounds]
BMI: 17.2

Additional comments:
FATASS.